A Grandma Zee Is Forever

What is a Zerbert?
Basically you start in the sneak attack mode.
You spot a delicious, vulnerable, patch of skin (like on the cheek, neck, back, belly or in the case of darling babies the butt). You grab the person and while pressing your lips onto them you blow air out as hard as you can. This causes a loud, flatulent sound similar to a giant fart. It’s incredibly fun and usually causes the person receiving the zerbert to laugh because of the tickulation effect.

Only one caution….Never, never zerbert a stranger. You will be arrested.

In our family the Zerbert is a tradition…
Every member of my family (including unsuspecting people who marry into the family) have been zerberted. Probably numerous times since the frequency of zerbertation is in direct proportion to how gorgeous you are and all the people in my family are totally gorgeous.

If you’re new at zerberting you can practice in advance.
To perfect your zerbert technique follow these steps;
Take a huge, deep breath.
Place your mouth on your arm.
Blow out all the air with great gusto.
There you have it….A perfect Zerbert….

Note: Only do this at home. If you do this repeatedly in a public area you may be committed…

One of my favorite examples of the zerbert was 13 years ago on the birthday of my Grandson Christopher T. Wilcox. My Son Greg (Christopher’s father) went into the newborn nursery where brand new little Christopher had been placed in a warm, comfortable, little baby bed. Greg leaned over and gave Chris a big old zerbert right on his little tummy. Christopher’s arms and legs all shot out in four different directions. I’m sure he was surprised and delighted to be so dramatically welcomed into the world and he took that opportunity to showed off his full 21 inches of body length. To this day, some of our family members believe that it was that first zerbert that stimulated Christopher’s genius IQ.